Thinking, Thinking

I have thought many times about what lead me to become an SD and how can I possibly sustain it for all this time, on and off.
Raised like a good boy in Catholic school by French monks (Merci beaucoup Freres Maristes), I do indeed have bouts of guilt and going to a very very warm place in the after life. But I was always curious and fascinated about women: sneaking down my English nannies shirt at age 8, watching her rinsing off the salt sea water at the beach, trying to catch my 15 year old cousin changing into her swim suit at age 7. I always seemed to have this insatiable need to discover all their secrets, be pleased by them, and to offer pleasure in return. At first I was a quiet and reserved little boy, and in some respects still am. But the subject has fascinated me so I went after it with a vengeance. I got married to my college sweetheart, and even though I had slept with about a dozen people before we got married that apparently was not enough. So after a few years of marriage I started venturing out. Not in a SD sense, but just plain old fashioned cheating. I told this story to one of my SB's, Nina, and she said that if someone had taken the time to explain women to me when I was 8, all these things may never have happened. Sometimes I wished they didn't. I can not believe all this cheating I have done. All for my own pleasure and satisfying, still, after all these years, a little boy's curiosity about the opposite sex. And these affairs taught me a lot about myself, and about women: A LOT!
I suppose one reason that I try to keep my affairs on the short side is that if they last too long I am afraid of the outcome, subconsciously.
When I am in the mood, I will write all the emotional details (start, middle and end) of my fav SB's mostly in Texas. Something about women down there, that is down home, attractive, and just makes me want to take care of them and squeeze their cheeks. When I get a bit older I do plan to live there. Hmm, I wonder if Squito found a SD. But anyways, time to go to sleep its getting late.