I’m a paranoid fuck.
All the damned cheating, extramarital affairs and sugar dating has shot my nerves and that doesn’t include the stress from my career in finance. Women have asked me why I do what I do if its makes me so paranoid and the honest truth is I just can’t help myself.
During my twenties I thought it was all a phase, that after a while or maybe after a certain number of women my appetite would be relieved. And now that I am in my forties I can say that I was foolish to think it would all just go away like magic. I sincerely wish it's as easy as saying, “Poof! Be gone” because I do love my family and hurting them is the last thing I would want to do.
Note that I have yet to mention the word sex and that's because it wasn’t the sex that kept my interest it was the chase itself. I don’t mean to sound like a predator but the excitement of the chase mattered to me more than the sex. Nothing in the world compares to the adrenaline rush I get watching a woman let down her guard and letting me have my way with her. So many conquests, so many ladies that I can barely remember who is who sometimes (except of course for some select individuals :) )
What if I'm out with my wife? What do I do if I'm approached in public? I'm surprised I don't jump every time I hear a woman's voice calling out my name.

Red

Southern girl with red hair, hence the nickname. She hated it, but I wasn't feeling very creative that day so it stuck with her. And she had married young, stayed married for almost 10 years, so at the ripe old age of 35 was looking for an SD, for the first time in her life. A friend of hers was a kept woman so she encouraged her to do this. She responded to my profile which I had at that time on match dot com. That profile made mention that I was attached, looking for NSA, and would 'pamper' the right lady. She was intrigued enough to answer so we met up for drinks.

My first impression of her: this aggressive, tall (almost my height), business woman. She intimidated every man in that bar. She started chatting up some men in the table near us, part of an after work business crowd, and they shied away from her. I think they were afraid she would beat them up. She even made a nice comment about one guys shirt, but he smiled and looked down. And then she told me that if she were sitting alone in a bar she wouldn't get approached by anyone, but every other woman in the bar would. I just told her that because she gives an aura of aggressiveness due to her profession (banking) many men that are insecure would find that intimidating. But of course not SD David, lol. I have to admit when she first stepped out of her car and walked up to me with swagger I thought she would run me down. But then after talking to her a little while I felt some familiarity with her and she just didn't seem intimidating at all. And I told her that all those men who wouldn't talk to her, were certainly missing out on a great southern gal.

On another occasion.....

R: morning sunshine, well i been very busy at work. i bought a new bed by the way for us. would you like to try it sometime? and, oh, can you pay for it too? wink, wink

D: of course I can . i may have some time to spend and would like to spend it with you. maybe could even spend the night there if you would like.

R: i am having a quiet moment, it is late, and thinking of you. i haven't seen you in days and wish i was spending these nights with you, instead of my visiting relatives! Miss making love to you. Hey can you cover the bed expense for us? Hey, I had to think of you eating me this morning and made myself cum. Too bad u weren't.

D: I will soon, baby girl

R: Like that daddy!

Later that day: Good night, wish you were here making love to me. I want to cuddle with u and have u slide your hand between my legs, oh daddy love when you do that.


D: hey good morning , you have time today for a play date?

R: oh your text woke me up, how are you, so hot of thinking us together like the animals


A few days later while dealing with some issues at work:

R: missed you, but I knew you needed your space. I would like to keep seeing you. what do you want to do?

D: Let me think and will get back to you

On hindsight that was a terrible answer. You just don't tell someone who likes you 'Geez let me think about whether I want to see you again. Will get back to you shortly, please hold.'

I could tell she was getting impatient, but unfortunately I was getting out of the life and you know what? shame I didn't meet her 6 months or a year ago.

A day later i texted to see how she was doing:

R: Really hurt me that u needed time to think about this. Feeel like u really have taken me for granted and don't value me or what we had. I think u need to find someone else. And I feel like u have taken me for granted I am not comfortable. I don't know many women that would have been so supportive of this situation.

D: Uh, sorry, had some tough times lately and needed to think. No reflection on you or what we have together. Just other 'stuff' going on that I can not elaborate upon. I can only offer a sincere apology.

R: fine, but is damn painful to have someone you like bunches, treat you like this. Please move on. u were supposed to come over yesterday.

D: Hey wait a minute we never, firmed it up. I still want to se you, but yesterday just did not work! It is not the end of the world as we know it.

R: Well, this time alone gave me the time to think that you don;t want to live up your end of the bargain.

D: how can you say that, I have been very altruistic and kind throughout the whole thing.

R: You are not the kind of man I want to be in an arrangement with. U said u needed time to think. that was shocking! U let the day go and never reached out. Really mean. Yeap, really hurt.

A bit later that day

R: Not certain if you got my text asking if you wanted to get together tonight, it's been several hours.

D: Yes, yes yes, I am still here, tied up in a conference call, couldn't get to my cell phone as I needed to focus on work, remember??

R: Funny, I wondered if you moved on.

D: Red you are just adding to my burned out grief, I have to tel you.

R: Why too many women? I really like you but I understand if all of it has been to much. I have struggled with it too obviously. Been really missing you u n not sure if I should be sharing that

D: Well, I am glad you did. Listen I was supposed to go out with some friend tonight for drinks. I will go for one only, and then was planning to get away early and come by your place because I wanted to see you

I got to her place, she gave me a big hug, and then she pulled out a pipe and some weed (from the best guy in Houston). I had not used in years so it didn't take me too long to feel the effects. One of the effects is that I become a chatter box. So I gave her a Sugar 101 talk. After that she asked me:

'How many people have you slept with? I figure either 30 or 50'
'Well, I can't really tell you, I keep that number a secret. Let's just say its way past 50'
'So what are your expectations about us' I didn't quite understand what she meant so I asked her to clarify.
'Well, given the fact I am not experienced at all in this, what are you expecting. Maybe I will be inadequate here'
'Well, you know, everyone has to start somewhere. It will be my honor to guide you through this'
'Also David, I am comfortable with you doing your wife and me, but no one else. I wouldn't want to think that you are doing 3 other people on the side.'
'OK, fair enough, I agree to those terms'
'Thanks Dave, I will like this kind of relationship because it really cuts through all the bull. I just like to be taken care of sometimes. I don't know if I should share that, but I am really into you. Plus, I am sick of acting like a man at work, so after work I just want to be a woman, and be taken care of like I deserve. And in bed, the more submissive I become, the more turned on I get.'

And suddenly this aggressive, tall woman, was giving me a smitten smile like a little girl eyeing a lollipop. She just simply let down her guard and turned from a hawk into a pussycat....And at that time I thought I was a lucky individual to have found someone of that caliper education, work experience, looks, business sense, and let's not forget the sexual appetite which was never ending.