Wach u want?

Getting mentally prepared for this type of relationship:

It's one thing to dress nicely, groom yourself, find a nice place to meet etc. But the mental preparation, expectation setting and mindset are of great importance if you are to get the most out of the sugar experience.

Do you put a game face on? or are you just being yourself? And this goes for both SB's as well as SD's. Should you be concerned about your safety? How much information should you share? After all the arrangement part is a very big part of this non-traditional type of relationship. Being a non-traditional relationship means that some of the traditional mating rules may not apply. Which ones?

1. After an initial meeting how long should you wait to call or email? I have had some single friends (men and women) in dating relationships who agonize every single little detail of that nature. How much of their emotions should they show and when?
I propose that in a sugar relationship you don't have to go through that. If you go to an initial meeting and you think that the arrangement part works for both parties, and the chemistry is there, you are done, at least initially. You just let them know that you would like to see them again, and, provided y'all are on the same page arrangement wise, the 'deal' is on, the business aspect is over, and the fun can start.

2. 'Using' each other: Hey at least in this type of relationship you both know it, and everything is out in the open. An SB I used to know some time ago summed it up really well: 'You want my hot bod, I want your lovely green'. She never minced words, but it was pretty well put. Many SB's want the older man not only because he can afford her and whatever she may need, but also for 'advice' or 'mentoring'. Maybe their real daddy didn't give them any mentoring so now they want an experienced business person to share some war stories with them or to bounce some ideas around.

So then, how do you get ready? Do you treat it as business negotiation? Do you go in as you are in real life or do you put on a 'sugar' game face?

1. I try to just be myself because I figure that the truth will come out eventually. By that I don't mean all personal details about my non-sugar life. I mean that the personality type comes out after the first few minutes, unless someone is a great actor/actress. So might as well let it all hang out and have a little fun in this situation. This has paid off in compliments like 'oh you are so sweet', or 'I was expecting a dirty old man trolling around for women, you are nothing like that, you seem so real'

2. If you chose to use a fake name for privacy reasons, by all means practice saying it and responding to it, and forget your real name. Otherwise it will slip out of your tongue during conversation. That's how I have found out real names of SB's time and again, and it was hilarious. Those individuals would definitely do poorly in the espionage business, lol.

3. What are you looking for? Especially if you are married, and this is a good question for both SD's and SB's.

a) If you are a married SB are you doing it purely out of financial reasons but still love hubby? Not getting enough nookie at home?

b) If you are a married SD do you plan to have a mistress on the side for the long term, are you just looking for a short term fling to spice up a dull family life, or are you just a thrill seeker? Need to decide these parameters before jumping in with both feet otherwise you will be confusing everyone including yourself. I have been all three of the above, at different times. One mistress lasted for some years on and off. Others were just one night stands. Most were somewhere in between. Some surprised me and unexpectedly turned into longer term affairs (6 months to 1 year). What differentiated these relationships from each other was the chemistry between us, and the situation that I was in my real life. So one needs to weigh all these things carefully, to be fair to everyone.

c) And SB's: What do you want? That is, besides dollar signs. If that's all you want then you may be soon replaced by someone who wants the same amount of allowance but is prettier/younger/older/more experienced/less experienced or whatever is the right combination at that time. Harsh, I know, but that's the way of the world.
You need to want more than just dollar signs, to move into the elite category of 'SB/mistress'

Part 2 later...it's getting late, time to hit the sack too, everyone else is passed out. Will have a glass of Scotch and listen to some Grateful Dead first.